My Life as a Sadhu
I just had a birthday. 61!! 61!!!! How did that happen? AND today I feel exhausted. It was a super busy and crazy and fun day but it wore me out! What is up with that? And before anyone thinks or says, well you are getting old…..think again…..I am not. I think today is one of my granny days (see other blog post)…..mellow mellow mellow. AND that is ok. It is perfect. And I can do it. I can do whatever I want. But I do know that I think I did some things yesterday because of others’ expectations. Hmmmmmm……thus the exhaustion. Interesting…….Wow, when will I let go of that? I know it is much better for me than it used to be, but how interesting that on MY DAY…….I don’t seem to be able to do just what I want. I am not whining here……this is just my realization. My issue. My problem. All good. All healing. Taking a deep breath and asking for the download. 🙂
Ahhhhh dearest E, yes, that is one great realization to have. You chose to do things to please others, not to completely please yourself. That is not bad. That is not good. It just is. You are learning to take care of you. You have graduated and with honors as we compare the old you with the now you. AND right now you are working on your PhD for self care. AND that is one intense process…..You are in the midst of writing your dissertation and it is called, “My Life as a Sadhu”. That is one of the reasons you feel called to blog right now. AND we are with you every step of the way. This is a long fought letting go process for you. Your children are launched, your parents are launched…..now let others launch. You know who we are talking about. IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO TAKE CARE OF ANYONE, ANYMORE! We apologize for the yelling but YOU KNOW it is needed. You have been such a lovely caretaker and fabulous mother and daughter…….the whole world thanks you. Your children are amazing and miraculous and wonderful beings……..and your parents are what they are. There is nothing more for you to do in those areas. And obviously your relationship with your children is a most wondrous and supportive and loving one. Joy joy joy joy joy! You three are super blessed to have that and we must say that this is almost entirely to do WITH YOU!
Yes, remembering to breathe (E just took a deep breath), is important and integral to your thriving survival and radiance and sanity. Asking for the downloads is a great idea, also. The M and M’s are here! We are here to support you and love you ALWAYS……..WE ARE ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU! And please know that the archangels are also here for you. And you can invoke specific ones of us, as you feel called.
This is a message for all y’all……..We love you! If the message doesn’t make sense to you it is not for you. Love, The Beans, including the M&M
This is a photo I took of a place up the Columbia Gorge. Fairy Circle. Place of Peace.