My Life as a Sadhu
Hmmmm…….My beloved honey is off on a 4 day bicycle trip and I miss him and I also am relishing the quiet and my ability to do whatever I want……Does that make me a bad person or a bad wifey? NO! But I feel a bit guilty since I have been really looking forward to this time alone. AND I know that I can cultivate that when my beloved is here……Still figuring that out. He has even encouraged me to meditate more, take more baths, read more, etc. Why don’t I? For some reason when he is here I feel that I must be paying rapt attention to him at all times. OY! WHY????????? Because that is what society says a good wifey must do, right? How about what I need to do for me? I realized that I was exhausted by trying to be a good wifey. AND when I get into those kind of habits, then it becomes expected, right? I can set myself times where I am not available……wow! What a concept. This reminds me of when my children were little and I would read in my bath. It was my sacred time. But I never closed the door, so my children and their dad would feel free to come in and use the bathroom and talk to me, etc. I remember talking to my counselor about it and she said, why don’t you close and lock the door? WHOA! WHAT????!!!!????? Close and lock the door? Unfathomable!!!
Aha! I get it…….the more I buy into the old 3D ways of being a good wifey, the more my honey buys into it. AND the more attention he demands…..I need to respect my space so he will, also. WOW!!!! This is huge!
You bet this is HUGE! You were wanting to blame him for being so demanding and at times exhausting…….nope! This is all on you, sister! We don’t mean to sound mean, we just mean to sound very pointed and point out to you that you do control your world. You do have the means and the ability and the strength to create exactly what you want and when you want it and take care of you!!!!! YES!!!! Create your space EXACTLY how you need it to be. Close the door. Announce meditation time. Announce writing time. Announce quiet time. You can do it! AND guess who will understand and get it??!! Yes, he will indeed. WE are happy that you went to the Cloud Council for this. AND we are giggling a bit as we know that you know that SO OFTEN it is MORE about YOU, than anyone else. RIGHT???!!!???!!! AND no, this does not mean you are a bad person. This is about you taking care of you and being completely unafraid to DO what you need to do, to ask for what you need. Oh yes! Oh yes!!!!
Cultivate your blissful solitude wherever you are. In your home when you are not actually physically alone. Take a walk. Walk to a park and take your book. Etc. Etc. Etc. YOU are super creative and will figure it out. Remember that your life is fucking awesome and it can become more so. WE love you to the ends of the universe. AND remember that your beloved hubby loves you that much and more.
Beautiful image by Shiloh Sophia http://www.shilohsophiastudios.com/