My Life as a Sadhu
The Beans kindly reminded me today about the snail trail. They taught me that we all leave a snail trail. We all leave our joy, sadness, anger, etc in our wake. So, today they reminded me to visualize my snail trail of joy. As the Warrior Goddess of Joy, I do, for the most part, leave a snail trail of joy…….But sometimes I get caught up in daily stuff……I know that I often do TOO MUCH! My beloved hubby reminds me and helps me to stop doing that…….I do want to be helpful, but I get caught up in helping TOO MUCH. And then I get exhausted. Many of my friends are doing a lot in their lives, especially the ones who are not retired. BUT I don’t have to do what they do. I don’t need to help them with their lives. They have chosen their lives…..this goes for my friends who I adore and love spending time with. I don’t need to DO more to be a FABULOUS and USEFUL being. No No No……….So, I am cultivating my snail trail of joy joy joy and not exhaustion and not depression and not anger and not shame……..I don’t need any of that. I am not saying that feelings are bad. They most certainly are not. They are relevant. They are beautiful. And I can acknowledge them and let them go. What do The Beans say?
Hello darlings……yes, this is for all of you……or many of you….or maybe just a few. Hahahahaha…..it doesn’t really matter because the ones this will speak to will read it and love it. And it is all worth it. AND of course we are speaking to the Sadhu. Oh dearest ones…..stop with the DOING DOING DOING already……You can let that shit go. YOU are beautiful and worthy and amazing and wonderful EXACTLY AS YOU ARE RIGHT NOW! Without doing a thing.
It is ok, we can hear you thinking, Sadhu. We will say it as many times as needed……Wash, rinse, repeat. You are not to doubt yourself……remember that your path has been a path of seva, service. This was hammered into you from an early age. You did not hear it from your ma and pa, but it was expected that you TAKE CARE OF THEM ALL. And then you became a Sikh. You found your tribe, your family. AND then it WAS hammered into you loudly……SEVA! Time to serve. Service is where it is at. Serve serve serve…..don’t hesitate. AND since you are no slouch about understanding……YOU GOT IT! SERVE………at the expense of yourself. At the expense of your wants and needs and health.
OKAY! Time to stop. You have served! You have served and served and served. And in the middle of all that serving you created a beautiful man and woman who are your son and daughter. You are like the MEGA server. You are a master server. Stop, darling, stop.
We want you to cultivate more silly. More joy. More fun. More fun and silly with your honey. We want you to serve YOU! This can be your first thought. Does it serve me? Does it bring me joy? Does it cultivate silly?
See your snail trail of joy and silly…….Your snail trail of service to you, your beautiful self.